Overlooked

    Overlooked for being shy is a hard thing to deal with. Sometimes it doesn't matter what call you have on your life, or the anointing God has placed there you can get overlooked. Struggling with this is hard because no one realizes or even tries to find out what gifts you have inside while you are battling to find a way to let them out yourself. Cliques in churches are so common that this can alienate you even farther causing you to hide yourself for fear of rejection. Starting off in a close knit church I was able to grow and was comfortable enough to walk in the call and anointing to the degree God allowed me to at that time and sadly at this point it is the past that I hold on to that has helped me continue through this wilderness. There are those who run after preachers and evangelists looking for a word from the Lord and I can say at a time I understood this, but was blessed when God began to speak to me himself. I had such a supernatural encounter with God's presence one night I will never be the same and will never forget the words he spoke to me that night. Those words have kept me going through the rejection of being overlooked by church people because they did not have time to get to know someone outside their circle. I know God works everything out for the good of those who love him and know there will be a time when I am no longer shy or hidden as I am now and will be able to reach out with love to those who are going through this prison I find myself in at the moment. I have pondered if this is from God to draw me closer to him and to keep me from depending on man who will let me down or is this from satan to try to destroy my self esteem and keep me from walking in the call God has chosen me for or is it neither or a combination of the two, I don't know. I do know one thing, God is faithful and I have to rely on him to lift me up as I learn this lesson he is teaching me. I have prayed and do not know if all my struggle is against the flesh or if it is deeper, I also don't know if all my motives are pure or if there is any pride hidden away, I do know this though, I have asked God to take out of me any wrong motives and help me to be hidden away if that is his desire and do his will in secret with a cheerful heart. I pray this touches someone or just opens an eye to see that quite person sitting the pew.


Funny story, I remember working on a prayer team at a large church and being grouped with an older man and women and how nice they were and how they took the time to get to know me. While praying I was able to be comfortable and really walk in the gifts God called me to had no problems, later I found out they were both ministers there and If I had known there is no way I would have been so open with them so quickly. God is good.